"Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters" - Margaret Peters
Coming to college, I am not really sure what I had anticipated adjusting to, but this year has proven to be far from what I expected. While here, I have had more fun than I believe I have had in my past 18 years combined. From impromptu movie nights, incoherent late-night study sessions, and awesome campus events, I credit every ounce of fun I have had to the friends I have made.
Being forced to live so close to people acts as a microwave for friendships. Within days, you're inseparable and within weeks, you feel as if you have know these people for years. The friends I have made here are truly incredible people - the kind of people I hope to keep in my life for as long as I live.
I have grown so used to our routines and habits that I cannot comprehend having lunch and dinner with different people and I am not looking forward to adjusting to the routine of my family for the next few months. I question whether or not adults who have not left home for extended periods of time understand the difficulty of melting in to what was once a familiar environment but has now been replaced and has become foreign.
While at home for Easter, I was asked multiple times what my opinion of being at college was at that present time. The answer I gave was simple, "while at school, I want to go home, but while I am home, I am beyond ready to go back to school." This of course was met with smiles of understanding and generic nodding and followed with the question of "why?" I pondered this for a second and responded something along the lines of my previous paragraph, "While at school I have a routine I am used to and I have a group of people I am used to, and when I come home I miss that." The response I got to that statement was "So you mean, when you come home it is not all about you."
I was stung by that retort, and I was left without a comment to respond with. Luckily, my family is the type that talks continuously to the where, by the time I had recovered and picked my jaw up from my plate, conversation was far from the topic of me being home from school. Obviously, this has been on my mind for a while. At first, I thought I was most upset because I did not have the opportunity to defend myself at the time, however the more I contemplated why I was so upset, I realized it was because I was misunderstood.
I take offense to being called selfish for wanting to simply stay within my routine, something I am beyond positive every person prefers to maintain. As an adult, going on extended vacations even can prove to be cause for irritability simply because routine is what grounds most people on a day to day basis, but does this make the adult selfish?
This struggle of not being understood for losing the comfort of my routine is not one I had considered prior to coming to college. I was fearful of missing how things were done at home, but now I am fearful for being home and not having my college routine laid out in front of me. Additionally, I fear those closest to me at home not making an effort to understand what I am going through as I transition back in to my home life.
To tie this back in to my opening quote, time has shown me that what truly matters to me are the people I choose to surround myself with and the ability to choose as I wish. As a child, and even now as I attend college and return home between semesters, I am limited to the people I can surround myself with - which I can deal with, yet I disagree with the people who believe that I am not entitled to have my own choice in those in my life. I know for a fact that I am not prepared for the part of adult life that entails living on my own, but I also cannot say that it is fair for a student to be sent off, told to figure out how to live in this new environment with new people and new responsibilities, then be sent back only to be seen as selfish and inconsiderate by family at home.
As I look forward towards my remaining years in this ever-so-awkward transitioning stage between life as a dependent child and the independent life of an adult, I hope to present a case for a more sympathetic attitude towards what I am being removed from in returning home from school. The friends and the life I have began to develop for myself are the most important things to me because it is these people and these decisions that will continue to direct my path in life. Globally, parents of transitions college students should remember that while their children are away at school, they are creating a name for themselves and beginning their adult life. It is important to remember this to avoid much conflict and stress on relationships, not to say that either the student or the parent should let the other act and decide as they wish, but sympathy and understanding must be at the center, with negotiation and compromise used responsibly by both parties.
